Heloo...Wakey..wakey...My life seem to be hectic nowadays..So ended up posting something about the relationship thingy la..hope it'will help somebody~~Be happy~my dear friend.~**Being in love is supposed to feel great. But sometimes it just feels confusing.

What can you do if you are being hurt, controlled or treated badly in a relationship?

ABOUT BREAKING UP

Breaking up can be a very difficult decision. Sometimes people say "why don't you just break up with him?", but often they don't understand how hard it can be to leave. You may be reluctant to break up with him, for lots of different reasons like:

• you love him because he is still good to you sometimes
• you hope he will change
• you are scared to leave him because of what he could do
• all your friends have boyfriends and you'd feel left out or alone without him
• you feel worthless without him
• he says he loves you
• you feel you can't avoid him because he's at the same school or has the same friends.

It can be really hard to break up, especially if you still love him or if he says he loves you. But if he is treating you badly, this is not showing love or respect. This kind of treatment can be very damaging for your self confidence. You deserve to have someone who says he loves you and shows he loves you by always treating you with respect.

Your boyfriend may really try to pressure you if you try to break up. If he thinks you will leave him, he might improve his treatment of you for a while but then go back to his old behaviour later, when he feels in control again. Be suspicious if he promises to change when you leave or threaten to leave. If your boyfriend has not respected your rights in the relationship so far, then how likely is it that he will change his attitude now?

The abuse and violence won't just go away - in fact, usually girls say it gets worse over time. Some have found that the abuse increased when they have tried to break up. Think carefully about your physical safety - if you are afraid of him, take these feelings seriously because you could be in real danger.

It's your decision. If you do decide to continue being in the relationship, or if you decide to split up with him, think of ways to protect yourself from any more violence .

A healthy relationship is based on respect. It's when: you have fun together you both feel like you can be yourself you can have different opinions and interests you listen to each other you trust each other you can both compromise, say sorry, and talk arguments out you don't have to spend all of you spare time together - you can spend time on your own, or with your own friends and family. Jealousy - is this love? Jealousy might seem like a sign of love. But when someone uses anger or jealousy to try to control what you do, or acts like they 'own' you, this isn't love - it's control. You've got every right to talk to anyone you want to. "If this is love, why do I feel so bad?" Often the first indication that there is something wrong in the way you are being treated is how you feel. You feel uneasy, tense, confused, like something isn't right. Below is a list of some of the ways that people say they felt when they were in an abusive relationship. Pressured Confused Guilty, like you are not good enough Angry  Uncomfortable Scared Nervous or tense Humiliated Bad about yourself Trapped Restricted or controlled (like you have to watch what you do or say) Upset Listening to your feelings is important. Think about how you feel when you are with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Do you feel any of these things when you are with them?  Abuse can have an affect on you in all sorts of ways, such as not sleeping properly  nausea or headaches  abusing alcohol or drugs anxiety or depression missing classes, wagging school or taking days off work  lower marks at school or Uni  constantly trying to do what they want not communicating with your parents or family, or lying to them because they might blame you somehow or stop you from going out  feeling like you can't trust people  losing touch with who you are and what is important to you, your own opinions, feelings, friends, family  having less confidence in yourself  feeling alone and afraid to tell anyone Someone who loves you should help you to feel good about yourself. No-one has the right to abuse you and make you feel so bad or confused. Having a good relationship doesn't mean you have to have sex. But whatever you do, whether it's kissing, touching or having sex, it should always be something that you both want to do. Sex is meant to be: something you decide to do when you're ready to something that makes you both feel good something you can interrupt or stop at any time safe (because you're both prepared with condoms to protect you from sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy) Sex isn't meant to be: the only way to prove that you love someone something you feel pressured or forced into something you do because 'everyone else is doing it' something that makes you feel used. Remember, if you've been kissing or touching but don't want to go any further, that's ok. Kissing is not a contract. Trust and communication The most important thing in a sexual relationship is that you trust the other person and you feel like you can communicate with them. If you are considering a sexual relationship, or if you are in a sexual relationship, ask yourself: How much do I trust this person to respect what I do and don't want to do? How comfortable would I feel talking with them about safe sex and contraception? How comfortable would I feel saying no to them? Someone who loves you should respect your right to decide if and when to have sex. If you don't feel ready to have sex, you could say "I really like you but I don't feel ready to have sex yet". Stay Cool..My friend..~